a monthly feature run by
Maddie M. White
DISORDER DIDN'T HAVE ME
What mental illness do you suffer from?
Depression and anxiety
When was the first time you noticed it and how?
I was in Walmart shopping and had a panic attack. Had to leave my buggy and all and get to my car.
How does it affect your life as a whole?
It affects my whole life. When I’m depressed or anxious I tend to take it out on those around me. They take it personally, however, that is not how it's meant.
How does it affect your day-to-day?
Some days I’m lucky to make it to work. I’m under a lot of pressure at work, so my anxiety hits often while I’m there.
What have you learned from it?
Depression and anxiety can consume your life, if you let it. I try to learn my triggers and step back if I feel I'm going to have one.
What had it taught you about yourself?
I’m only human and cannot control everything. As much as I’d like this to be a perfect world and be able to help everyone, I can’t. And I’m okay with that.
Have you found anything helpful in coping with it?
Doctors have put me on different medications to where I had no feelings. I hated that! But mostly I know my triggers so I try and avoid them if possible.
Describe a time in which you felt empowered in spite of your disorder.
I realized I had the disorder, the disorder didn’t have me. I woke up, weaned myself off my medicine and never picked it back up.