Disorder Didn't Have Me

June 18, 2019


a monthly feature run by

Maddie M. White








What mental illness do you suffer from?


            Depression and anxiety



When was the first time you noticed it and how?


            I was in Walmart shopping and had a panic attack. Had to leave my buggy and all and get to my car.



How does it affect your life as a whole?


            It affects my whole life. When I’m depressed or anxious I tend to take it out on those around me. They take it personally, however, that is not how it's meant.



How does it affect your day-to-day?


            Some days I’m lucky to make it to work. I’m under a lot of pressure at work, so my anxiety hits often while I’m there.



What have you learned from it?


            Depression and anxiety can consume your life, if you let it. I try to learn my triggers and step back if I feel I'm going to have one.



What had it taught you about yourself?


            I’m only human and cannot control everything. As much as I’d like this to be a perfect world and be able to help everyone, I can’t. And I’m okay with that.



Have you found anything helpful in coping with it?


            Doctors have put me on different medications to where I had no feelings. I hated that! But mostly I know my triggers so I try and avoid them if possible.



Describe a time in which you felt empowered in spite of your disorder.


            I realized I had the disorder, the disorder didn’t have me. I woke up, weaned myself off my medicine and never picked it back up.




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